I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i think i just lost a toe
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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