I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
