dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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