Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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