Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
