I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
