Your mouth is God's brothel.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
