is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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