why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
