it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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