I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
