Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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