I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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