i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
