if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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