All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
