It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
