I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
