Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
