Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
