Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
