spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
