Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
honey bunches of taint.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
