So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
