It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
