with your own penis?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize