sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
