He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize