Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
