Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
even my farts smell like vagina
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
