he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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