Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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