oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
