i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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