You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
