just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
