Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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