Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
