I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Someone came in the potted fern
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
