but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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