I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize