Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
