my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
