Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
