You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
