Quick, to the slutcave!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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