They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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