I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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