just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He? As in you personified your dick?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
