I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
