I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
