I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
