dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wear drunk well.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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