Nicole vs. Life
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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