I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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