I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize