Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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