Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
