At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize