I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
