Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
