The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
