Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
