But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
