If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
