There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
