fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
