she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
