yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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