I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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